Last Night’s TV: The CMA Awards, Empire, Survivor, and More (SPOILERS!)

VIEW IN BROWSER THIS ISSUE: The CMA Awards, Empire, Survivor, American Horror Story: Hotel, Law & Order: SVU TOP MOMENT OF THE NIGHT The CMA Awards Hit a Perfect Note ABC BECAUSE: The 2015 CMA Awards were full of top moments... and weird moments. And mind-blowing, insane moments! How about when William Shatner sang "Girl Crush" in a Stormtrooper suit? That was something. Or when Brooks and Dunn and Reba McEntire got up onstage and showed the kids how it's done? Incredible. And before the show even started, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani officially announced that they're now dating. But the hands-down, hats-off, slap-your-knee Top Moment of the night had to be Nashville veteran/newcomer Chris Stapleton winning Best New Artist, Album of the Year, and Male Vocalist of the Year, then topping it all off with a dynamite performance with Memphis' own Justin Timberlake, singing "Tennessee Whiskey" and Timberlake's "Drink You Away" together. Pure perfection. READ OUR RECAP Empire FOX WHAT HAPPENED: "You ain't a boss, Lucious. You a busta." The answer to who uttered this line is as unsurprising as the fact that the last episode of Empire ended with a kidnapping. And this week is all about getting Hakeem back from his abductors... and back onstage for a star-making duet with Mirage-A-Trois in a matter of minutes. EW recapper Melissa Maerz is "beginning to think that Empire is playing smash and grab with our attention spans." In this week's hookups of both the business and pleasure variety: Hakeem goes straight to Anika following his release, but he quickly ditches her when it's Laura's flawless vocals that snap him out of an ever-so-brief PTSD relapse mid-performance; Andre is trying to turn Gutter Life less, uh, gutter-like with Christian artist, J-Poppa; all three Lyons boys come together in a literal group huddle in Hakeem's time of need (okay, that was really sweet); and in her own time of a different kind of need, Cookie goes to Laz, the ex-cop who for some reason suggested that she hire Hakeem's kidnappers as security, and for some reason, has the same longhorn tattoo on his back as those in the kidnapping gang. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: That episode may have been a little all over the place, but Empire knows how to nail a cliffhanger. Of that final reveal, TV Line says, "You know when our girl eventually figures out that Laz was the one behind Hakeem's abduction and brutalization, she'll make her usual broom-to-the-head/Louboutin-to-the-throat techniques look like butterfly kisses." For now it's just regular kisses, but far hotter than Laz this week is new banger track, "Boom Boom Bang Bang" -- the one Lucious lords over Hakeem but eventually gives to Freda Gatz. It's those smashes that make the insane plot grabs worth it. READ OUR RECAP Survivor CBS WHAT HAPPENED: MEEEEEERGE! This. Season. Is. Nuts. After going from two tribes to three tribes, then back down to two again, Bayon and Ta Keo have now officially reached the merge in episode 7. With 13 people! The pressure to form a majority alliance causes some to randomly start quoting poetry (EW recapper Dalton Ross suspects a Freaky Friday situation between the souls of Stephen Fishbach and Coach), but for the rest, the beach devolves into chaos. When it becomes obvious to Kass that Tasha doesn't trust her and won't be swayed to the Ta Keo alliance, she tries to make Tasha's own alliance doubt her. Then Ciera jumps in trying to sow seeds of doubt in Savage's loyalties, but Savage will tolerate no such sowing. The chaos backfires, and though it seems for a moment that Spencer might help Kass out with a big play, the chaos master herself is the one who's sent packing. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: This week, we turn to the man, they myth, the legend himself, Jeff Probst, to see what he thinks of how some of the remaining 12 players have taken advantage of the Second Chance opportunity. As told to EW: Spencer is "doing a good job of showing people his intention to behave differently. Whether it's an authentic desire or just game play is irrelevant if it's working." While Fishbach "is one of the few players that I actually think is playing a less effective game... until he deals with Joe it seems his focus is going to be blurry." Speaking of, "Joe is doing a good job of working within a system that doesn't play to his strengths." And then there's Abi: "I absolutely, 150,000 percent believe that Abi came into the game intending to be different. I absolutely believe that thus far, she has failed." READ OUR RECAP American Horror Story: Hotel FX WHAT HAPPENED: "Bet you'll think twice before ever ordering pâté from hotel room service." Only American Horror Story could inspire such an opening line in a recap, and when it's the Hotel iteration, you can bet the Twilight undertones aren't far off. After Alex gives Max a taste of her turned blood in the hospital to cure him and then sets him loose, he promptly goes to school to spread his half-vampire-half-measles blood to all of his classmates. His mother may not have vaccinated him, but she definitely taught him to share. At the Hotel Cortez, Liz Taylor and Iris bond over Liz's backstory: She was a married man from Topeka traveling for work who was putting on a slip, fur coat, and heels after closing the hotel room door when the Countess found her and offered to help her become the goddess she was born to be. No blood transfusions here though, just a new job, a true identity, and lots and lots of chiffon. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: Inspired by Liz's story to be her true self and not take trouble from anyone, Iris ends up serving the intolerable hipsters who've checked into the Cortez with threatening requests for artisanal cheese plates and grilled romaine. The A.V. Club points out that "this season is both a cautionary tale and a resentful reflection that youth is, after all, wasted on the young." Resentful in that those hipsters were set up for failure -- both to be hated and to meet the favorite fate of the Cortez -- but also victorious: "Iris' triumph as she slaughters them is a naked reclaiming of the spotlight from these self-aggrandizing, self-important twerps." Needless to say, t's not exactly Glee. READ OUR RECAP One More Thing... Family Ties/Lies NBC SVU AND COUNTING: "The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event," reads the title card before Wednesday's Law & Order: SVU episode depicting stars of the fictional hit reality show 13aker's Dozen who attempt to deal with their son's sexual assault on their daughters within their church that is totally not based on real life TV family, the Duggars. We'll let you be the judge... READ OUR RECAP Also Check Out... Recommended by Copyright © 2015 Entertainment Weekly and Time Inc. All rights reserved. WANT MORE? To subscribe to any of EW.com's email products, please click here. 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