Last Night's TV: Big Brother, Empire, Survivor and More (SPOILERS!)

VIEW IN BROWSER THIS ISSUE: Big Brother, Empire, Survivor, Nashville, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon TOP MOMENT OF THE NIGHT Big Brother Names Its Victor CBS BECAUSE: And so, it all comes down to a... crossword? And a memory test?! They're appropriately understated final HoH competitions, really, considering that part-ghost-part-silent-assassin Steve edged out manipulation-station Vanessa and dominant-twin Liz to win Season 17 of Big Brother. And there you have it: superfan; trombonist; invisible boy-man -- ladies and gentlemen, your reigning Big Brother champ, Steve. READ OUR RECAP Empire FOX WHAT HAPPENED: Have you heard? There's a hostile takeover going down on the season 2 premiere of Empire. According to EW recapper Melissa Maerz, "So many members of the Lyon family say the words 'hostile takeover' in the season premiere that if you took a swig of your Drip Drop Champagne™ every time someone utters the phrase, you would be drunk enough to want to be a shareholder in this company." Cookie is the one doing all the taking over, but she's doing it for the children, of course. Other crazy things she did in the name of the children on Wednesday night: dressing up like a gorilla for political reasons that are actually personal reasons, paying half-naked women to make out with one another to get Marisa Tomei's Mimi Whiteman to give Empire $250 million, and slapping Jamal -- twice. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: Runner up for Mayor of Crazytown: Frank the Drug Lord played by Chris Rock who sends Cookie a severed head in a box. Critics are excited, but a little overwhelmed by the sheer amount of shenanigans Empire is already promising this season -- EW handled it by rating the characters "in terms of relative genius/insanity"; The L.A. Times went with a moment-by-moment GIF reaction; while Vulture's critic was literally eating her hat in disbelief at all the fantastic absurdity: "I'm sitting here with half a Cubs baseball cap in my mouth, praising the brilliance of Predatory Lesbian Schemer Oscar Winner Marisa Tomei." READ OUR RECAP Survivor CBS WHAT HAPPENED: It was a big night for CBS -- just as one of its beloved dinosaur reality series doors closed, another one opened. Survivor is back and so are all of its returning season 31 contestants for their "Second Chance" at a million dollars. And it's very important for them to show themselves and the fans that for voted them that they've changed their stripes. So, of course, that must be why Abi Maria goes on a tear about a bracelet from the sale bucket at H&M, Vytas skeeves all the women out while thinking he's turning them all -- nope, can't even get through that -- and Fishbach set himself up for, like 100 "Fish(bach) out of water" puns. In the Immunity challenge, Kelly Wigglesworth's stick looked stronger, but Joe's was longer (see below for follow-up innuendos), and Bayon beat out Ta Keo; so Ta Keo sent Vytas, his boxer briefs, and his lack of awareness for personal space packing. Oh, and get this -- immunity idols at challenges! Longtime champion of this concept and EW recapper Dalton Ross was thrilled, to say the least: "And the #DaltonRossIdol is finally born." WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: For the premiere, it only seems appropriate to keep you abreast in all the latest innuendos shouted by host Jeff Probst during his Immunity challenge commentary. Our picks for Wednesday night's best hits include: "It looks long enough, but is it strong enough?" regarding Joe's "pole," followed up by, "Does he have enough pole?" And just to keep it interesting: "Varner with a big load coming down!" READ OUR RECAP Nashville ABC WHAT HAPPENED: In Nashville's season 4 premiere, rather than getting down to the minor business of if Deacon or Beverly died following last season's cliffhanger, we're treated to a one-month flash forward where Juliette is working the premiere of her Patsy Cline movie, but annoyed that Layla is still around. "Whether it's because she hates Layla, Jeff, or herself is up for debate, but it's probably a mix of all those things," says EW recapper Kyle Fowle. Rayna, however, doesn't have time for catfights; what she has now is a little perspective because -- Deacon's not dead! For Nashville, it's a pretty low-key premiere, but we'll always be here for the Juliette/Rayna dramz, which tonight consisted of Juliette breaking down over a toilet bowl, calling Rayna for help, Rayna going to L.A. to save her from her hard-partying ways, and Juliette saying she must have "butt-dialed" her by mistake and acting like she's totally fine. Oh Jules... no amount of duets with Steven Tyler could make anyone believe that. WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING: Okay, technically, there are people outside of Juliette and Rayna's all-consuming orbit: Beverly also survived last season's operation, but is in a coma; Gunnar is (still) making out with and then being rejected by Scarlett because Gunnar is Gunnar; and Will is not loving his newly out life, hiding in the sheets and hating what the streets (er, gay clubs) have to offer him. But at least the latter two fellas can commiserate together, and are doing just that when Avery returns home from Ohio with little Cadence. The recapper at TV Line knows when to get excited: "If Nashville is taking inspiration from Three Men and a Baby, I'm totally OK with that." READ OUR RECAP One More Thing... Welcome to Good Burger, Home of the Memories NBC WHO LOVES REUNIONS?: Well, Modern Family and Blackish also made their familial Fall debuts last night, but surely the last piece of TV info we need to leave you with from Wednesday is this: Kenan... and Kel... REUNION! Kenan Thompson, back on Saturday Night Live when the new season premieres Oct. 3rd, and Kel Mitchell, who is returning to Nickelodeon in the upcoming series Game Shakers, stopped by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon to reunite in Jimmy's flashback of his first ever job as -- you guessed it -- a Good Burger employee. We can only hope you wash all those memories down with a nice glass of o(oooooooo)range soda. READ OUR RECAP Also Check Out... Recommended by Copyright © 2015 Entertainment Weekly and Time Inc. All rights reserved. WANT MORE? To subscribe to any of EW.com's email products, please click here. PRIVACY POLICY Please click here for our privacy policy. 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